10 questions to ask your son alongside “How was the school?”

Every father was on the recipient to answer one word. You ask your son how their day was, and they generously give it “good”, “good”, or “good”. This is likely to lead to your one -word reaction, even if you don’t say out loudly: “Oh”.

“We are parents, we are desperate of information,” says Steve Phuket Perez, a psychologist for children in children’s health in Dallas. “We want to know what our children do, what is happening – we want in their lives.”

There are ways to increase the possibility of more feasible conversations. For beginners, stay away from the idea that your son will be ready to speak immediately after school, and instead focuses on low risks and positive interactions. When your child walks across the door, it should not be the first thing that comes out of your mouth a question, says Puckket-Perez says; Instead, select a feeling of calling by screaming, “I am very excited to see you!” Or: “I am very happy because you are at home. You have eaten some snacks that you thought you might like.”

You know your child better, so think about the time to share it. This may be after they ate, playing a favorite video game, or when it ends up sleeping. When it looks like the time, I ask specific questions in an open way, not in a fast fire sequence, Point-Perez recommends. She says the rewards deserve it: conversations that exceed the level of the surface “building confidence and safety, so when something is difficult, we are a safe space for that.” “It also allows us to know if something needs to be interfered with Kiddo, where they need to support us, or they need to invite us.”

Here, experts share exactly what they ask young children-before the pre-kindergarten stage to middle school-to encourage them to open up. You do not need to ask every day every day; Instead, think about them as a set of questions that you can choose from based on factors such as your child’s mood and what you are keen to know.

“Let’s share something good and something impressive that happened today. I can go first.”

Think about this approach as a way to design what you seem to talk about your day. In parents’ conversations and child, “it does not seem to be an interrogation when we go first,” says Pucks-Perez. “It seems to be a participation, and this is what we want to feel communication and conversation.

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She adds that there is value in talking about uncomfortable feelings and difficult parts of the day, instead of keeping them. You may also be similar to this: “What is the most difficult thing you did today?” By talking through difficult experiences, you can share the way you have moved, which will provide your child indicators on how to work through difficult situations – with feeling that they are subject to a preacher lesson. “We get a chance to do some paternity and motherhood for motherhood,” says Bukit Perez.

“What are some of your classroom rules?”

Your son’s question about the rules of the semester helps them understand that there are rules everywhere they go – and they are supposed to follow. “It is strengthening, do you understand the rule the way it is intended to understand? Do we need to fill any voids?” Says Alejandra Galendo, a marriage processor and licensed with Thrives. “You can use it as an educational note.”

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In addition, if it seems that your child is confused about a specific rule – they may misunderstand the word what their teacher used – it provides you with an opportunity to clarify with them or school.

“What is the fun or exciting thing that happened today?”

Galendo says we can all use more positivity, and the tendency to good parts of your child’s day helps to take care of this – while allowing you to enter what interests them. You may discover that it is especially in the art category or the practice of the band, for example, or that it ran faster than anyone else in the gym.

Galendo says this question “helps children focus on a power area for themselves – maybe they did something they were very proud of,” she says. “This enhances that self -confidence as well.”

“Tell me something that made you feel anxious or anxious today. How did you deal with it?”

This is a great way to help children start exploring, understanding and being able to name their emotions, says Galendo. You do not need to ask her every day, but if it seems that something disturbs them, or they hinder participation, this is an opportunity to put my mind healthy confrontation strategies together, such as practicing easy breathing exercises. (Favorite: Go back to three while breathing, keep three, then breathe for three.)

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You can also dance together. “Imagine spaghetti before he goes to the water,” says Galendo. “It is really cruel and firm, and after you enter the water, it becomes pasta and loose.” Use this metaphor to encourage your children to fluctuate everything – and make sure that you twist and turn on their side.

“If you can replace places with someone on your side, then who will be?”

“This question appears as a strong inquiry,” says Bukit Perez. Lunch every day.

“When did you feel bored?”

In children’s conversation, “boring” can be translated into all kinds of things. “You may learn that,” every time I am in mathematics, it kicks my ass. “Or” when we have to sit and do independent work, this is very difficult. “Or,” I was alone in the holiday, and no one played with me, and I was bored. ” Your son may not reveal these problems – but their framing about boredom (which is easy to talk about, for example, by loneliness) can allow you to enter what is really going on in their day.

“What did you do or see?”

Speaking regularly about kindness can help instill important values. In addition, it is a way to measure how they deal with their classmates and other people around them. The goal is to help them realize that even if someone is not his friend, they still need respect, says Galendo.

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If your son or daughter shares something they did, he is especially nice, wait for a rhythm before telling them that you are proud of them. Instead, ask them if they are proud of themselves. “Wait until they answer, and then you can enter and say:” I am proud of you too. “She adds that children learn to be proud of themselves and express this feeling, because their self -confidence increases and helps them to want to make positive procedures usually.

“Is there anything that you are concerned for tomorrow?”

The answer may be no. But sometimes, asking this question can help reveal what your son really thinks of himself and put stressful scenarios on your radar. “If they are tense about something, it might be because they think they will mess,” says Galendo. “It is a great opportunity to enhance,” well, let’s go through. Let’s say that this is an event-what can we do about it? “Which will help your child build problem -solving tools, as you say, while leading the idea that it is good to make mistakes, and they should not be perfect.

“What made you smile today?”

Phuket Perez says that your son’s question is what made them smile or laugh is a tangible means “to ask them about their joy and happiness and something that is satisfied on that day.” Around it into a ridiculous moment: You can rotate both funny stories about today; Laughter together will enhance everyone’s mood, while enhancing the feeling of communication.

“Is there anything from your day you want some help with him?”

There is a good opportunity for your child no. But later, after your question had an opportunity to get to the one, they will often return. When they come to you, they resist the desire to tell them simply what they should do, or they announce that you will talk to their teacher or discover it. Ask them about the type of assistance they want – they may just want to talk about it or brainstorming solutions so that they can deal with the situation on their own.

“It gives that agency for children and allows them to know that you are there as a resource and to help if necessary, but it’s okay for them to work through it too.” “I think that many children hesitate to tell their parents about the problems because my mother will jump, or my father will contact school. Let them know that you are a place to work through a problem, and that you trust them at work through them, and opens many ways to show support.”