We all want a big personal change when you press the button – but here is how to actually achieve it Mental health

I I feel the light after the first chapter of the arrival, our young child is trained. This involves not leaving the house for several days and screams with joy, “No more diapers!” While our daughter was wandering in the naked and we started learning together how to get stools and WeE at the arrival. I find it a great process – in addition to chaos, destructive and cheerful. I learned a lot of reading Oh nonsense! Training trainingWritten by Jimmy Gluki; One of the appointed line like the new stool scent hit me all over our cream carpet: “If you press the process, you will collapse.”

This is not only true in training training. Sex, relationships, learning, play and recovery – these are the processes that need to be revealed in their own way and time, because under pressure they will distort, clamp and collapse. Understanding this is the key to building a better life – but it is much easier to know this perception more than it is actually.

We may say, “No pressure”, but saying something does not make it. We suffer from a deep and painful longing for things that must be done immediately – because there, instead of a process, a button to press that. I wonder whether this unconscious desire is the one that prompted humanity to develop machines and technology. Perhaps the inventors of the button in the late nineteenth century were driven by their frustration over the time it took growth, development, learning, the formation of relationships and children’s education, and they created something immediately. You press a button and something happens – light illuminates, a sound comes out, or an explosion explodes. This is seductive for many of us. It gives the illusion of intoxicating to control. Whenever we get home, as soon as my daughter sees the door bell, she says: “I want to press a button.” Like many other children and actually adults, she enjoys pressing her mother’s buttons as well.

We live in an era in which a lot can be achieved very quickly by pressing one button and relatives near, and the stroke of the screen, so that it is difficult to accept many things that do not work in this way. To be in a process is a completely different monster. The button works completely under pressure. The process may collapse. The button is easy to press; It can be difficult to withstand the process. The process includes abandoning the illusion of control and instead discovering the liberation and the limits of the individual agency, as well as accepting that you do not know things and tolerance with being a beginner. I realized in psychoanalysis how much this feels for me – and this is part of the reason I am still in it.

As a new patient, I wanted immediate results, and I convinced myself that I had already changed, I had already arose from difficulties after only a few months. Fortunately, my invitation analyst refused to collude with my imagination that I can overcome the painful, difficult and complex process of real internal growth, which is not written, which develops from the inside out. Instead, she presented me with her ideas about what was really happening to me without awareness, as well as her ability to withstand the feelings that I wanted to control.

This experiment was my point of view that it is very important that the therapist is able to determine the unconscious and inevitable pressures coming from the patient, and to grow them. The therapist then may be able to open the possibility of exploring this pressure, so the patient may have ideas and feelings on this topic, to understand where it comes and how it is operated in his inner and external worlds, in his past and present. It was a tremendous comfort for me to discover that my analyst was able to separate from me in this way, that I had ideas about the pressure I suffered from, instead of crushing it, like me.

Am I defending a kind of loose chaos, anything, chaos on the carpet as the only alternative to pressure? I am not. I think this assumption is that there can be only two alternatives – pressure or “anything that goes” – it can make it very difficult for us to find our way through any type of growth, on our own, with a partner, friend, colleague, child, patient or arap.

Being in a process that means building life – in childhood as is the case in adulthood, with its best times, worse times and everything between them. I realize everything again every time I argue with my husband and find a way to repair. Each time I get out of a session with my analyst and feel completely lost. Each time my daughter suffers from an accident and say: “The next time, you need to try to do so at the arrival.”

Although it is painful and disappointed to realize that nothing meaning can be fixed by pressing a button, I also find it up. It is comfortable to realize that I am in all these operations and that each of them has his own life, and although I have an agency, I do not control its paths. This understanding, which recedes and flowing and not always with me, brings me hope that he feels rooted in the normal reality, rather than the imagination of a personal image free of defects. You can feel demolished in times of cancellation, cultural wars, left or right. It leaves me, I feel freedom, more loyal and more realistic.