How to keep your child calm when you are tense

Although paternity has always been difficult, raising children in today’s world is uniquely stressful. In addition to the balance of work and family life, parents are concerned about the state of the world, their money, the safety of their children and their mental health.

With a lot to worry about, parental stress has reached a temperature. A 2023 survey I found that approximately 50 % of the parents felt tired, almost daily.

As psychologists focus on emotions, we know that pressure Spread. Children can quickly discover their parents’ strain from the tone in their voice or express their face, such as attractive eyebrow or wandering. Leaving heavy sigh is also a sign.

The ability to capture the feelings of another person is known “Emotional infection.” When children notice the distress of their parents, mirror neurons are activated in the brain, causing high levels of cortisol stress hormone. All this happens in a moment, often unconsciously.

Since children depend on their parents for safety and care, their brains are wireless to the levels of stress of their care providers. It is necessary to stay. Exposure to continuous and high levels of pressure It can affect a child’s behavior, an attention period, and the ability to reduce their emotions.

Although tension cannot be stopped, parents can prevent him from rubbing their children. It begins to gain their own emotions – and to make awareness of calm survival amid the chaos of life. Here is how.

Acknowledging tension and promoting yourself at the present time

To relieve stress, it is important to recognize it and take studied action.

To prevent stress from taste, we encourage parents to focus on “here and now”. You only need to monitor your surroundings and determine one thing you see and one thing you hear.

Read more: 10 questions to ask your son alongside “How was the school?”

This practice helps you get out of your head, as stress worries about fuel and anxiety, which removes you from the present. Research shows that it is involved Sensation It enhances physical awareness, which helps to regulate stress. Fixing at the present time helps parents stay on the ground. This tells children that even when difficulties arise, you can take responsibility for your response, which enables.

Slowness

Stress is manifested in the body. Many parents who worked with tension in their shoulders or pressure in their chest.

Take one of the parents we know – we will call Chris – who has recently lost his job. Like most parents, try to protect his children from his pressure. They continued their daily routine and took them to school and the garden.

But they felt their father’s conflicts. Chris’s children noticed how his smile melted in a frown. They also picked up his patience when the dog walked or cleaned the kitchen. Instead of his usual quiet behavior, Chris did these housework with quick and fast movements. Even when he told his children, “I am not upset,” they noticed his intense accent.

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The next time you feel the desire of Chris, stop and register access to your body.

Simply take 60 seconds to slow down. Feel your feet on the ground. Take five deep outstretched breaths, allowing your stomach to go out like a Buddha. Slowly exhale, follow your lips as if you were blowing on a hot spoon of soup.

When stress excels, the idea of ​​taking a deep breath can look like a sterile penetration of life. but, research He appears This deep breathing stimulates the vague nerve, which provokes the response of the body’s relaxation. As a result, stress hormones decrease, and relief is followed.

The name of your emotions

Stress does not stand alone; The lights are involved with other emotions. However, since our society does not teach us how to name and verify our feelings, we learn to block them and suppress them.

Parents may drink an additional cup of wine, avoid a difficult conversation, or judge themselves harshly when they are strained. These behaviors are preventive defenses that protect us from unbearable emotions.

Awareness is the first step in naming our emotions. With Chris and the other fathers we are working with, we offer a road map. It is an emotional healthy tool that we call “changing the triangle”, which we use, such as parents, also when stress appears.

It was initially developed by David Malan for psychotherapists, by adapting it (Hillary) to help the general public. The changing triangle enables you to determine your emotional state and activate you with brilliant water.

When Chris used the change triangle, he wiped his body from head to toe. He noticed how his heart was beating quickly, and he felt running to run: two material signs of fear. Chris realized that he was afraid to lose his income, although his chapter would cover the bills for several months. He also noticed heaviness in his heart and pressure behind his eyes. Chris realized that with fear, he also felt sad.

Fear and sadness are both basic feelings. Fear alerts us to the danger, while sadness tells us that there is something for mourning. Chris missed his work and colleagues. Once his emotions are named and his health verified, Chris felt a greater feeling of relief, and his body felt quieter.

Read more: How to maintain the health of your heart in the twenties, thirties, forties and beyond

When you feel comfortable, he spoke to his children in a softer tone, and they witnessed moments of joy together. Chris’s children were relieved of his presence, and when he told them, “everything will be fine,” they believed it.

As parents, we advised our children to “use their words” when they take over their great feelings. But this practice also enables us. Language Language Our emotions It is called “Emotional Naming”, and research It shows that it helps contact the lower severity.

Emotions are released with adaptive actions

Basic emotions in the brain to help us stay. They are not under conscious control. These emotions lead us to take action that helps us. Examples include slowing and searching for support when we grieve, running out of danger when fear is turned on, or the boundaries are placed when we get angry.

By allowing himself to feel his feelings, Chris can determine what he needs. He took strong aspects while listening to his favorite music and giving Pep conversations, reminding himself that his pressure was temporary. These techniques known as “state change” can help help Convert Our emotional states. Another example is to take a hot shower, exercise, and the press.