Experts on how to talk to children about violence in the news: “There is no topic outside the borders” | Parents and motherhood

WThe right -wing Charlie Charlie Cherc was killed last month, and footage of the shooting quickly spread on social media. Today, anyone with a smartphone can access videos and thorny videos – as well as misleading processes. Although some experts were showing a warning about possible damage From smartphones on children and teenage mental health, the fact is that most young people are still able to reach phones – and the annoying content often flows from them.

The Guardian spoke with seven experts about the best way to talk to children about the inconvenience of content and news, at any age to start these conversations – and what to avoid.

Experts Committee:

• Ania Kaminitz, journalist and publisher Golden watch Newsletter

• Eugene Perisin, PhD in Medicine, Psychiatrist and Executive Director of the Clay Center for Young Health Masters at Massachusetts General Hospital

• Tara Conley, Assistant Professor in Media and Press at Kent State University

• Tori Cordyano, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist Olyyo -based

• Murphy generation, chief content official at Common Sense Media

• Ashley Rogers Burner, Professor at Johns Hopkins University

• Holly Corby, author of building better citizens

What is the best way to talk to children about bad news – whether it is a general assassination and school shooting Or a climate -related disaster?

Anya Kaminitz: First, discover what they already know or heard. Children hear things in school and see scraps on social media, so it is important to know what they heard. You can dispel any wrong concepts with some clear facts. Look online together, for the model of balanced consumption of information. Once some of the basics fill, ask if they have any questions. Then, ask how they feel about it.

Eugene Peresin: Children of all ages have three concerns. Am I safe? Do you take care of me? How will this affect my life? So you want to ask what they are worried, listen, and verify the authenticity of their feelings and be available to questions.

Tara Conley: There are practical ways to create communication channels to speak with children when the news is annoying. For example, consider creating a family group chat. Create online spaces and is not connected to the Internet where a young man can feel part of a narrow collection.

What are the best ways to talk to children about graphic content, such as Charlie Kerk photography?

Tori Cordiano: Personally, I know a lot of teenagers who, without realizing what they were looking at, stumbled Really shocked. Especially with young children, there may be some meaning: “I cannot even tell my father because I was not supposed to see in the first place.”

It is important to be able to talk about it with a reliable adult. You might say: “You may not know what you were really looking at, or maybe you were looking for, and this is understandable because you want to know what is going on. What we know is that we do not want to continue to search for these types of videos and pictures, because it has a permanent effect on our brain.”

Ashley Rogers Burner: When children hear about an assassination or other political violence, it is important to be honest with them. Parents can enhance the rules of democracy, such as we deal with differences in peace and without violence. They can reassure their children that the government’s mission is to find any perpetrators of violent behavior and their official, and that this violence is rare.

How to help children navigate the wrong information?

Holly Corby: Parents need an understanding that when children have phones, they have an endless exposure to the worst things that occur in the world, almost immediately on Tiktok and Instagram, the facts of what happened are immediately twisted. What’s more, political leaders say, “Do not trust the news”, so people are confused.

The father’s function can be to say: “Let’s just go to what the facts are. If you hear something really scary, then move to a journalistic outlet and know if this is true.

Kordiano: Children are attracted to phones because it is an important way they communicate with their peers and get to know their world. I don’t think we are smart to put it on the side. Instead, we must think about the habits that we want to start developing at an early age around technology. Use: where they use their devices, when they use their devices, to the period when they use their devices and what they reach.

I am not thinking of this as one approach that suits everyone, but in general, it can be the start of more restrictions (fewer applications, including social media, and the most strict time limits) useful when children can access the phone or tablet for the first time. For all children, avoid maintaining the devices in their bedroom overnight, or young children, and avoiding using their devices behind closed doors, useful. I often recommend Logical media For families looking for resources on this topic.

Conley: Cunley said that implanting critical media erasure skills for children and youth early – by helping them understand how the media and techniques affect social behaviors and social life – Konley said. I give parents/care providers some tips here: Adults who support children who consume frightening news. The American Academy of Pediatrics also provides information on How to develop a plan for family media.

There is a lot of glass and polarization in our policy. How do you deal with these conversations?

Corby: Tell my children that [no topic] Outside the borders. Students who are subject to controversial topics and allowed them to talk about them end up until they become more political activity later. We have arguments on the dinner table. I think this is good.

Murphy generation: Children and adolescents will have many questions, and this may also be a launching platform for a deeper conversation about a political or cultural issue. Parents should remind children of their values ​​and destinations, while hearing what their children are attracted to and wondering about.

What should parents and caregivers avoid when talking to children about the news?

Kymntz: Avoid television news in the background. I hate to say this because I used to work in NPR and grew up listening to it from the back seat, but depending on the story that is revealed, you may want to reduce this exposure as well. Depending on the age of your children, you do not necessarily have to volunteer in a lot of information when they did not ask for it. Children take information in their pace and have widely different development needs.

Conley: Perhaps it is best to avoid pretending to know everything and can explain annoying news. Children can say. We owe humbly, not arrogance.

How to reassure children when they are concerned about very real dangers of their safety, such as climate change, school shooting and immigration raids Police violence?

Conley: I was in the college, and there was a lot in the world from September 11 to Hurricane Katrina, to the BP oil leakage, to the great recession. During that time, before his death, my father wrote to me letters. Sometimes the guidance is offered, and sometimes it provided ideas for encouragement. I still have his letters. Pull them whenever you need a reminder of our common humanity.

So, when talking to parents and teachers, I present an operation Thesis writing activity. Simply write a letter to a young man in your life that can go a long way.

Kordiano: When gunfire occurs at school, it is not our duty to make it more Disturbed. What we want to make sure is that they take the school safety exercises seriously, and that they are interested in the directions we get from the school.

How do you rest assured when you are, as a parent, afraid or upset with the news?

Kymntz: Put your oxygen mask first, and make sure you have an adult supportive to share your fears. Health news consumption form [by] Avoid bed before bed and maintain family actions as a news free.

Conley: I encourage young and adults not only to find assistants (screaming to Mr. Farid Rogers) but also Be helpless. Recent studies indicate support, for example through volunteering, all help us to deal with continuous pressures and deal better with. We feel better when we help others.

What is the best age to start these conversations?

Murphy: Children and adolescents are exposed to news at a rapid rate, and they often hear about events from influencers. For this reason, it is better for parents to start discussions with children early, and exchange appropriate information for age.

Kymntz: The truth is that we do not always choose. I did not want to explain to my three -year -old country that the school was closed because of a global pandemic, and that it had to wear a mask and could not go inside the supermarket, but this is what happened, and I have a happy and healthy child today.