How to get over someone, according to psychologists and relationship experts

Whatever makes you special, do more of it. “That can be really helpful because a lot of our self-worth can be wrapped up in how our partner, or ex, thinks about us. That can really diminish if we experience rejection, so we have to try to find those things in ourselves again.”

14. In the future, think about positive things.

In the long run, a breakup shouldn’t ruin the entire relationship, says Dr. Porter. “When the pain subsides, think about the good you got out of it, embrace the excitement of new possibilities, and remind yourself how amazing you are.”

Can you be friends with someone you still love?

If you’re still wondering how to move forward in the relationship, you may need to accept that you’re losing your best friend, too. “It’s very difficult to be friends with someone you love,” De Alto says. “But if you love them, you can still do it friendly“.

What if I can never move on? And how long is too long to get over someone?

“It’s okay to feel afraid and hurt,” De Alto says, adding that the time frame for healing varies from person to person. “But know that with time, the pain becomes numb. And with new experiences, there is new hope.”

Okay, but how long does it take to get over someone, really? Durrell says you’ll inherently know when you’re ready to let go. “There will come a moment when you will feel it,” he says. “When it’s like, ‘Okay, time to pick myself up.’ My value doesn’t come from this person leaving me. My value comes from how I “I feel myself.”

1. Don’t judge the duration of the healing process.

“Don’t equate your recovery time with your relationship time,” Hendricks says. Even “almost” relationships can cause tremendous heartbreak, Huerta says.

“A lot of times people say, ‘Well, I’ve only been with them for six months. Why am I devastated?'” Hendrix says. “Because within six months you fell in love with them and became so attached to them, you started spending every day and night together for a while.” Your six months are like two years for someone else. So whatever you feel, respect that.” In fact, how long it takes to get over your ex depends on a variety of factors, including the narrative you tell yourself.

2. Accept that closure is something you may need to find on your own.

Sometimes, you won’t get the closure you need from your ex, and you’ll have to find it yourself after the relationship ends. If your ex can’t explain the reason for the breakup, create your own healthy story. And if that’s not enough to provide closure, consider talking with a therapist about how to heal a broken heart, Hendricks says.

Also, if your breakup is triggering thoughts and feelings about other losses in your life and you’re having a hard time dealing with it all, definitely seek outside help.

3. Trust that the pain will not last forever.

“No matter how much pain you’re in, try to believe that this too shall pass, and have faith that any day, you can meet that special someone who is truly right for you,” says Dr. Porter. When you’re in the midst of heartbreak, it can be hard to imagine that you might feel otherwise. But “time tends to heal most, if not all, wounds,” he says.

How do you know it’s really over?

“I never say never, but if you have honest and open communication about the end of your relationship, and you try to reconcile and it doesn’t work, and then someone moves on, it’s probably already over,” De Alto says.