From getting kids to eat their veggies to limiting screen time: Parenting tricks that actually work | Parents
Get out of the house
Smart speakers are a great parenting crutch, whether it’s setting a timer (kids seem to be strangely obedient to them) or asking Alexa for help with homework when the kids put you down. But reader Katie Matthews has hacked into the parenting matrix. “I had to nag repeatedly to get the children out of the house,” she says. “Now our Google spokesperson announces a five-minute warning before we need to leave. They know they have to do their last bits of tinkering when they hear that warning. Then the speaker announces, ‘Put on shoes, let’s go!’ when it’s time to leave. It’s really changed our morning.”
Mealtime essentials
Make your child endure He tortures Eating food that has been lovingly prepared for them can be painful. But this gentle tip comes tried and tested from author Holly Bourne: “Making my daughter ‘ice cream’ for breakfast — with a mixture of avocado, banana, strawberries, and full-fat Greek yogurt — has been a game-changer. It’s important not to ‘trick’ kids into eating healthy, so she helps us make it and sees what goes into the blender, but she doesn’t seem to mind if it turns into ice cream.”
While some of us worry about snacking, reader Sarah Dee Malplaquet says giving her six-year-old a light plate of raw vegetables before dinner has improved mealtimes. “He happily eats vegetables he might reject at dinner, and then the stress goes away when we sit down to eat because we know he’s already eaten a variety of vegetables.”
And if the dinner table becomes a war zone, Sue from Norwich has a suggestion: “When sharing something delicious between two boys, one cuts off and the other chooses the half he wants.”
Some parents have had great success actually handing over cooking responsibilities. Joe from Berkshire shares: “When my son was seven, his grandmother taught him to make a cheese omelet, and now he’ll make it for breakfast for the whole family at any opportunity, because it makes him feel responsible. There’s something about giving children a role in the family that pushes them a little bit – and they feel like it’s something adult and maybe a little dangerous! This has been a real parenting win.”
Daily trips
Nadia from London has an idea that sounds so fun, she’ll book a day out as soon as possible. “I’ve always loved museums, but they can be confusing for kids,” she says. “Decades ago, I did something called a ‘postcard run.’ We approach the museum in reverse, visiting the gift shop first. Each child gets three postcards. They then take turns to find that specific work of art in the museum and give us a little information about the piece from the details on the postcard, or from any gallery plaque. In At the end of this, a treasure hunt style activity, we vote for our favorite in the café.
Even if deciding where to go can be an experiment, Deb from Dorset says she gives her children a choice – and younger children usually choose the last of three options, so make that one your own. “They’re really happy it’s their choice,” she says. “If you have more than one child, make sure they know who gets to choose and be absolutely strict about that – children love fairness.”
health Superhero
When it comes to dealing with children’s personal hygiene, Pip from London says, “‘Try three, then ask me’ is a great slogan – it’s been good for wiping the bottom at least.”
And when it comes to younger children, Caroline from Derby says: ‘When clipping baby’s nails, place them in a high chair so your arms are free to hold the baby’s reluctant arm – it’s also useful for brushing teeth and giving medication.’
To get the kids into the bathroom, Anna from Manchester suggests saying something like: “I bet you won’t be able to get into the bathroom when I count to 10 – and if you do, I’ll do a silly dance.” Fight and then take them out again? Try this from Katherine in Birmingham: “My baby hates getting out of the bath and used to throw a tantrum before bed. Now we say goodbye to the bath toys and put them away one by one when the bath water runs out. She eventually sits in an empty bath and then is happy to move on to the next stage of the bedtime routine.”
And if you’re exhausted from chasing down SPF hesitant kids, reader Carly shares this genius idea: “Apply sunscreen or moisturizer with a tanning mitt. It takes 30 seconds to style the entire body and goes on more evenly.”
Make playtime fun
To break the boredom of parenting, Julia Page from Sheffield suggests: “When times get tough on my 87th reading of Paw Patrol: Pups Save Adventure Bay, I imagine I’m a little celebrity in CBeebies Bedtime Story. I look into the ‘camera’ and give the performance of a lifetime. Suddenly I can do sounds, tone and inflection Much more easily, and convey all the emotion I can muster. “It sounds silly, but it definitely lifts the monotony.”
Sean, a school principal and father of two, offers a mindset shift that helps him: “I remind myself that one day they won’t ask me to play with Lego or dinosaurs – and it lets me enjoy it while I can.”
Toothbrush problems
“My two-year-old hated brushing her teeth,” says reader Megan. “Now, every time we brush her teeth, I pretend I’m a vet and she gets to choose what kind of animal she wants to be. So I brush her teeth while she roars at me like a lion or a tiger, and we have a great time!”
Hannah Ostroumoff from Bristol says replacing the recommended “pea-sized” amount of toothpaste with “a small dollop” worked magic for her son, and as he got used to it, she slowly increased the amount.
only Behave!
There are moments when you feel like you would do anything to get your kids to stop fighting, screaming, or making a mess. “When the kids lead me up the wall, I listen to advice a friend gave me: take them outside or put them in the water, whether it’s for a bath or playing with a water gun,” says Catherine from Exeter. “Changing the environment really helps reduce the severity of a tantrum.”
Emily from London plays ‘You’re Not Allowed to Laugh’ as her three children start the game. The idea is that children can be as sad or angry as they need to be, but they have to no He laughs. “If there’s a smile or a laugh, we pounce on it with ‘No laughing, you’re supposed to be angry!’” And within minutes, they’re usually laughing hysterically. I don’t know why this works, but it’s saved me a few times.
For older children, Jo from Berkshire finds that many really resort to the Dragons Den system that makes them think about their constant requests: “We bought stamps that say ‘approved’ and ‘rejected’, so if the kids want something, or want to convince us of something, they have to write a suggestion – which is really good for my son who is dyslexic and doesn’t like to write – and submit it. Then “They get a seal whether they get it or not.”
Openness
Getting your child to express their fears is a constant concern for parents, no matter how old their children are. For teenagers, Vic from London finds this successful: “When my girls are stressed out by school or friendship problems, I ask them if they want my advice or if they just want to listen to me – 90% of the time, they just want me to listen. They get some of that out of their system and I have better control over their lives.”
During the primary years, Ainsley from Bristol was a supporter of the Golden Age. “At bedtime, after we brush our teeth and read stories, there is a quieter period when we rest,” she says. “This is the golden time when kids can, if they want to, say anything, ask anything, admit anything without fear of judgment or getting into trouble. They don’t always use that — but it’s there if needed.”
Lauren Candy, author and host of the podcast Postcards from Midlife, suggests a simple swap she’s used when talking to teens: “Ask them, ‘How are you feeling today?’ and not ‘What did you do today?’ when you want to chat.”
Stay in touch
Getting your teen to talk to you in person is one thing, but communicating outside the home is another. Candy’s trick to getting her kids to respond to messages is interesting. “They don’t answer when you ask where they are, what they’re doing, or when you need them to confirm anything!” She says. “The only thing that gets an answer is a picture. When my eldest daughter went into Interrailing, I knew I wouldn’t hear much from her, but every time I sent a picture of the dog in her bedroom, or of one of her siblings doing something silly, she responded. The questions can seem intrusive, but pictures of home life are reassuring and comforting, reinforce her connection to you, and start the conversations you want.”
Screen time whine
While some of us throw away iPads under the pretext that they “need charging”, Chloe from London has taken this to the next level by installing an inexpensive Wi-Fi smart plug into the back of her TV, which she can turn off via an app on her phone. “No more physically wrestling the remote with their fists and no more meltdowns where it’s just ‘the TV turns itself off because it’s been on for X minutes,’” she says.
Lauren from Essex advocates turning off the WiFi too: “Sometimes I say it’s down. I also change my screen time passwords regularly because it always fixes it. I often hide my iPads – and then forget where I hid them, so that’s an added bonus.”