I suffer from giving up things. How can I proceed with a quieter life? | Life and elegance
I suffer from giving up things. Painful situations, which occurred 40 years ago and more, still emerge regularly in my mind and assure me. I don’t seem to be able to overcome and forget them. Even the unrelated small objects bother me and make me work. How can I either forget them or stop them from lifting blood pressure? It seems that I constantly emphasize little things that I cannot change anyway. Can you suggest some techniques to go ahead and live a quieter life?
Elianor says: Since you said that many of these things are small or not important when thinking, I will assume that we are not talking about great shocks, or the types of insults that a person should not look to forget. I assume it is the types of sour memories that we all have: bad, bad. Getting rid of this can be very time for those harmful memories that are very unpleasant. Not only for us, but for the people around us; It can remain psychologically stuck in an old distress, where every new event is seen as a chart that follows the past.
Why do we continue to return?
One of the possibilities is that we do not feel that it has changed. The time may have passed, but in terms, we still feel as if we were there. It is still afraid in the same way that these situations made us, still vulnerable to these pressures themselves, even a believer against the same mistakes. If you feel as if a lot has changed since insulting, whether in you or in your circumstances, the memory looks like a postcard from a far place. But if you feel the same thing in important ways, it is still possible that the annoying thing from the past can seem to threaten as much as this version continues today.
Or perhaps we return to these memories because there are some questions that have not been answered, we continue to try to solve them. Why did you say that? Why did they do that? If you did it differently, did this change?
Perhaps, we rarely come back because we are bored. Sometimes, if the current life does not feel motivated or disturbed enough, we can return to the difficult conflicts or options of the past, because although it was unpleasant, it somehow feels more reality.
Treatment can help know what is for you. When he knocks on sad thought, why does it seem worth opening the door? This would really help you adapt your strategies. It may not be the calm you will need if you are trying to solve the question of what calm you need if you still feel weak in this same way.
Goodwill people may say that you need to be closed, which is a way to tell a coherent story. The closure is great if you can get it, but I am not convinced that it is necessary. What worries me is that the search for satisfactory methods of the novel to ultimately convey bad memories is our ability to move to our ability to understand events. Che affliction may be really out of our reach. Bad luck does not make sense. People do not always have “why”, much less we can accept as an explanation. Our experiences are not always really 1 our subsequent life can be satisfactory law 3.
I think – at least sometimes – less than “I must overcome” and more “I must see this as the past; ended.”
Based on a good advice, I once returned to some inhabited places and saw how high the trees, and how the buildings disappeared. The world that I have been returning in my head literally does not exist. Other people write and tear them, and they have a small funeral, and set them fire (safely).
While trying to know what is captivated about these memories, this may help try to see them in the present tense as well. It has not been solved, not just a source of new pain, and not part of the pattern; Echo of harm is gone.