Learn to live with a friend loss bereavement

The Justin Maires piece was deeply moving and made me think about the sadness that falls outside the expected patterns, such as the family, or, in my case, an immediate social circle (“It was a bad dream – but I have never woke up”: What seems to lose your best friend, September 18). He supervised the doctoral thesis Dan Milner for the popular Irish American song. A student in the seventies of the last century, who was struggling to write, took a routine work. But then Dan went up to my office and sang one of the songs he was writing about. We have found a way to combine the knowledge of his life with the popular song, with my sense of how to organize a thesis, graduate and publish his research.

He lived in New York and visited Birmingham to supervise, see friends and family, and sing in the TAVERN lamp. Join him there (however, unlike anyone else in the room, and not joining it, where I could not sing) was one of the pleasures of my life. Rio sang like no one on the face of the earth. I stayed with him and his wife Bonnie, in New York, and we led long distances to meet when I was on the eastern coast.

Then Kovid came, and we did not see each other for years, although I saw the live broadcast of him singing at a socially far -fi -year event in Connecticut. Then, one morning, an email from Bonnie told me he died. I had no one to tell him or talk to him. I couldn’t attend the funeral and do not know anyone who knows it well. There was no way to share this sadness or remember that friendship. I wonder whether our worlds, with our worlds change, our customs and vocabulary to delay normal life, and need adaptation.
John Faj
Birmingham

The echo of Justin Maires echo about the painful loss of his best friend. I also lost my best friend, Ann, two years ago, and I cannot yet express the feelings of loss and deep pain that I face almost daily. I can’t imagine the pain that Ana family had to carry and suffer more than I am. But I feel that the level of sadness that it faces is not in one way or another. Ann’s family understands my loss, but most people do not.

Ourselves called ourselves as “sisters of the soul”, but it was not linked. In general, I am supposed to be good and real. The truth is that I will never recover from the loss of such a best great friend, cute, core and care. It was very cool and my heart was broken without it.
Sarah Mcai
Neton, White Island

Thanks to Justin Maires for sharing his story. I lost my dearest friends in suicide a few years ago, and he destroyed me. I rarely talked about it, but if you call the courage to mention it, the people’s questions will inevitably be: How long did you know it? How many times did you see? I felt as if I had to justify why I was very abstract.

This is mainly because of this, I have often made weight in silence. I am not talking to my partner or family on this topic even though I am thinking about it all the time. It was assumed that it was the method of her death that made her very painful, but reading his article helped me see a different angle: that losing a long -term friend leaves a huge hole in your life that cannot be filled with another; Not everyone was blessed with these deep friendships, and therefore they cannot always recognize sadness when one is lost.
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Justin Myers, I feel you. My 34 -year -old husband died five years ago. Everyone has understood my sorrow, including the best of my 40 -year -old friend, who I enjoyed in the cultural city, breaks dozens of times (while my husband preferred a request for wildlife trips).

Two years later, she died. She spoke at her funeral. With very few exceptions, no one knew him could understand the level of loss I felt, and I still feel. I wish we had a common friend to keep her memory alive. I am only happy that no one has quoted by the seven stages of sadness for me – it is not related to any way with any of the bereavers.
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