My wife and I don’t have sex and she refuses to talk about it. Should I just give up? | Sex

My wife and I have been together for over 10 years He has been married for four years. We have Young children. I love her deeplyBut our marriage is basically empty Sex and physical intimacy, and she refusesWe should talk about it beyond acknowledging that there is a problem. I am a woman who values ​​physical intimacy And I’m very attracted to Ha. I want to feel more wanted and energetic. But making love is very rare, and I always initiate it It follows the same pattern. She’s not focused on giving me pleasure. The rest of the time I get rejected, which makes me feel ashamed and unattractive. Even the lightest of funny or suggestive messages sends Meet with silence. So I bother less and less.

Naturally, I want to know what Being her. We already are The presence of spouses Treatment, but this is not a topic we have addressed successfully. outside In these sessions, my attempts to discuss them are either avoided or met with anger. He does Do I simply give up, after so many years of trying and failing to make things better? I cannot I forget my needs and desires just because they are not reciprocated.

I wonder why you did not insist on the topic of sexuality in your marital therapy sessions? Sex is often an expression of your entire relationship and should not be ignored in the therapeutic setting. It may be difficult to bring it up and discuss, but it’s clear that you have strong feelings about a lack of intimacy, and you’re clearly sad and filled with longing. If you don’t give space to this great sense of loss and shame you’re feeling, you’re dooming yourself to quiet desperation, and you’re compromising the longevity of your marriage. You deserve to be heard.

Pamela Stevenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specializes in treating sexual disorders.

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