Naomi will be an obituary psychology

In the early nineties, Naomi Staptin was attending an event at the Freud Museum in London, where her husband Anthony was a researcher, and one of them asked her what she did. “Nothing,” she replied, “I just bring our children.”

Naomi had sold herself short, and this toured a long time after the event. In 2004, she directed her first book, what mothers do, especially when it does not seem to be nothing, referring directly to this original exchange and answering. After that, Anne Carf described it in reviewing the guardian as “the best book of paternity and motherhood that you have not heard before”, the book became the best -selling books, and it was translated into multiple languages and was described by many mothers over the years, as a life provider.

In a sea of books on training children who put parents often, Naomi wrote about listening and confidence in yourself as a mother and your child. I continued to write four other books: two about motherhood, one on “grandmother”, and a great fight: Elizabeth Jaskel, Florence Knightgil and mothers today, which was published after her death.

Naomi, who died at the age of 82,, as well as an author, was an existential psychotherapist and a breastfeeding consultant at La Leche Legue. Before all of this, I worked as a social worker, a professional therapist and editor of books. But her most important role was as a mother. Naomi felt that motherhood was less than its value and dismantling. She pointed out that the action was not used much and is often replaced by the term “paternity and motherhood”.

I was born in London, for German Jewish refugees who escaped from Justabo. Some of her first memories were of air strikes and her parents in gas masks. When Naomi was two years old, and in the same week that her brother Ben was born, her father, Hans Jacobi, the world of graphics (handwriting researcher), who was trained to be a psychiatrist, died a heart attack on the street. Naomi was alone until the help came, and it was an event.

She left her mother, Marianne (Ni Goldshmidt), a graphic also, with two young children, 10 shillings and very little support. She did not get married. Naomi said: “I had no experience in parents [she and Anthony] If you were children, I realized how important the important parents are. “

Marianne has gone for training and practice as Jungian analyst. She lived for a long time enough to see the first published Naomi Book, although he was rejecting parts of it, saying: “Will you make me feel guilty?” When I first met Naomi, in 2011, I asked her why she wanted to write about mothers. She said, “I came, from a group of problematic mothers.”

After the city and the country school in Hampsted, the sixth shape in the North London Collective School, Naomi studied European history at the University of Sussex. She trained as a psychological adviser in Goldsmith, University of London before becoming an existential therapist in special practice, and works largely with mothers and husbands. In the sixties of the last century, she worked as an editor in Penguin and Hutchinson, and in 1968 she met Anthony Staptin, psychoanalyst and researcher, who later married him and had three children. She also taught and supervised psychotherapy students at the PhD at the New School of Psychotherapy and Consulting in London, and she studied advisers to the trainees and psychiatrists at the University of Northeast London and the Berkbeek College.

In 1990, a call from Janet Palasasas from the active birth center in North London was accepted to start holding weekly mothers to talk about how their week went. This group has become mothers talking, which provided rich feed for its books and gave them an insight into mothers -related issues, as well as bringing enormous comfort to its members. Mothers continued to speak for 35 years, without breaking, even during the epidemic (when I moved to zooming). The last meeting was held a few weeks before Naomi’s death. Mothers talked about the goodness of Naomi, and the extent of its curiosity. One of us said: “She wanted us to learn from each other. She wanted to feel safe, watch and keep.”

The author and psychotherapy, Philippa Perry, is attributed to Naomi “a great influence on my work as a treatment”, and how the La Leache League rang one day when she had problems in breastfeeding her daughter. “Naomi was on the other side. I told her that my child was biting me during breastfeeding and I said Naomi to pay the child’s interest 100 % when feeding it. It is true that I was reading magazines and books instead of staring at the eyes of my child. I went back to do so and stopped biting.”

Naomi believed that the children were communicating with their mothers from the beginning. In order to break the family patterns, she wanted to “prove that you can bring children in a confident manner, and they deserved that confidence. Motherhood is a real connection between two people.”

I once asked her if she had succeeded in her family. She said, “I think so, but let’s ask my daughter Rachel.” Unfortunately, Rachel came out on that occasion, but after years she managed to ask her to the same question. “I was always a real person for her, with my thoughts and thoughts. I took me very seriously and listened. If I was unhappy, I respected my feelings and spoke to them, even when I put it in the most embarrassing social situations.”

I knew Naomi professionally and also, for a short period, as a processor.

Although she was deeply studied, she is sometimes sure and sometimes shocking, more than almost any other processor she worked with. Few can touch it for really cool visions. When I saw her as a therapist, no words were emptied. There was nothing of this “Well, what do you think?” Or “Let’s rewrite that” – I have been cut off with surgical accuracy.

When she met her once in her home, she asked whether her husband could sit in the interview (I was not the only journalist who asked this), with a group of books at her feet if she asked her something you need to search. I told her that I felt that she was often hiding behind the words of others, unnecessarily, when her own was good. After diagnosing cancer, she decided to be more assertive and use her remaining time to make her voice heard.

Some of the things that she told me I carry with me every day. It was the most correct response to new information – that the only correct response to new information is curiosity, anything else about you ” – is a genius way to describe the projection. What mothers do has a chapter about how mothers pass immediately (and I will add them constantly) and rarely passes an hour when I do not think about this.

Naomi survived by Anthony and their children, Rachel, Shuel and Daryl, and three descendants, died, Anya and Antoshka, and two descendants of the step, Lily and Florence.