This is how we do: “Writing exciting stories for each other has gave us new sexual energy” | Sex
Otto, 52
For the first time, we publicly talked about what we loved and did not love, which already opened our relationship to exploration
I am well identical in terms of sexual desire. Sex is not in my mind all the time, it is something to occupy and care for it. That was the journey of the past few years.
When we met nearly 27 years ago, our sexual life was exciting and adventure. We were doing it outside, or sometimes in a swimming pool. It was spontaneous. But we did not talk about it much, so we didn’t really know what the other person loved. I grew up in a family that was not talked about sex – which means that I had no comfortable position on it.
As we approached 50, there was a five or six years when we had sex only once every few months. We were still a happy married couple, but it was a low point. The sexual desire was not present – we prefer to see Netflix. I started having problems with erection when we tried to have sex, which was worried. Fortunately, Mif was patient.
I started thinking that I wouldn’t have sex in my life anymore, which is really sad. So I said to myself, I had to take a closer look. I was in treatment, and MAEVE and I went to the couple counselor and the sex therapist together. They have given us tools, such as giving each other and allocating the allocated time together. When seeing a sexual therapist, we realized that we enjoy talking about sex and that it runs us. For the first time, we spoke publicly about what we love and do not love, which already opened our relationship to exploration.
Initially, it was just practical things, such as “Do you like getting the tongue?” It was a challenge for me to talk about it at first, but we are now wide open. We write exciting stories to each other, helping us to connect what we love. I have this funny thing about women in VW Vans, for example, so I put it in my story.
When I was younger, I thought that when you grow up and have a long relationship, things would become boring. So it is interesting to see that the greater we are, the more we discover each other. We now have sex twice a week, which is a lot according to our standards.
Mif, 54
It was alone, because if you were not having sex for a long time, you will lose a full level of intimate relationship
When I saw Otto for the first time, I felt that my heart was walking on the nuts completely. There was a very strong physical appeal. We were always comfortable with each other, and we felt physically compatible, so the sex was very good.
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It is clear that things change with children and work, but there was a time ago a few years ago when we were physically and mentally drained. We have sex only once in the blue moon, perhaps every three months. Sometimes, we may get to know intimate and we will not be able to maintain an erection, then I stopped having sex because I did not want to pressure it.
It also did not help me pass the menopause and felt that I lost these corneal feelings. It was alone, because if you don’t have sex, you lose a complete level of intimate relationship. It is not only about sex – you are drifting and become two people who live in the same house that takes care of children.
Auto was in treatment and we decided to see a sexual therapist together. You are tense from sharing the most intimate part of my life, but if it is worth installing, you should just get rid of it. It turns out that he shines. When we opened, some misunderstanding appeared. For example, I was under the impression that Otto did not like to have sex by mouth for me and I think I didn’t like it.
We asked the therapist if we had talked to each other about our sexual imagination. I wrote one of my imaginations in the Valentine’s Valentine Card a decade ago, but I did not get a response. So the homework of Otto was to write one for me. That was a blow.
We are now writing exciting stories to each other and then act with our delusions. It has made everything more exciting and spontaneous. And sex makes you feel younger. It is beautiful, and I feel very close to Otto now.